a YouTube thumbnail featuring, on the left, a scav from Escape from Tarkov, as the player's axe descends towards their face. On the right, myself, a woman with an extremely wide smile sitting in an office chair wearing leggings and a tank top. Text in the top corner reads Twitch logo and YouTube logo, phennoflore Bluesky logo phenn.gay EFT 1.0 11/19 - 11/27 | Blood Thirsty Woman
Posted inStream Highlights

EFT 1.0 11/19 – 11/27 | Blood Thirsty Woman

A compilation of the Previous week's stream of Escape From Tarkov 1.0 In which we find way too many peas, talked about Oh Gods Got milk is 30 years old, ask why my girlfriend why she keeps rat poison in her butt and Much more (Like axe kills, and a strange amount of forgetting bullets)
A poem Cracks in the Sky it's snowing I can just make out skeletal hands, stretching away from naked bodies a patina of dark cracks cascading across the grays and whites of the sky so uniform in it's banal chaos until I grab my glasses bare branches, swaddled in clean, soft, new snow, reach outward and upward divested their autumnal finery, yet still holding the promise of new life, maybe In a new year they're too separate from the unyielding grey to be the cracks in the facade I saw moments before the sky didn't change same grey white uniformity, encompassing my world threatening in unequal measures, danger, beauty, and futility the clarity isn't bad there is honest joy to the dance of flakes, falling from their grey white prison, movement, energy, individuality for a time all too soon they will rest among their fallen sisters I like to imagine it's a comforting rest, well deserved, well earned it's always there the fear that each flake is allowed to dance, to celebrate her freedom for but a short while, before she joins her sisters in the suffocating blanket across the land She may find joy in her fall, but her landing, her corpse, those of her uncounted sisters, all subsumed by the collective 'snow' a grey white downy jacket of corpses, all so the ground might resemble their once prison. I miss the cracks in the sky Bluesky Logo Phenn.gay Twitch and YouTube logos PhennofLore
Posted inBlog Essays Mental Health Poetry

Cracks in the Sky

Last year, I spent the holidays trying to connect with my partners. We'd been having issues since a kink scene in June where, while pretty deep in pup space, I was rather suddenly rejected and abandoned.