This Is Just a Blog Post Isn't It?
I started writing this as a sort of follow up to yesterday's story, but wow, I don't want to let that shit keep taking up space in my head.
I'm trying to write more in general, it's something I find too easy to simply put off over and over again until I suddenly realize I haven't posted on my site in a month. It's always felt odd because I enjoy writing. I love feeling the words flow out of me onto the page. (I don't love that I keep having to use my tablet to shoo away wasps!)
It's those moments where the words stop and I have to stare down at the screen wondering, "Where the hell was I going with that?" Those are the moments that stop me from writing more.
Obviously the trick is more practice, and better control of my ADHD. So, here I am, practicing more. I guess that means actually using this as a blog off and on.
Not that I'll stop posting poetry or weird semi-journalistic shit. I'll just add in more rambles, essays, and if I can help it, more short fiction, because let's be honest, that's where I really want to get the practice in. This is also tied in with that whole thing about wanting to write about the games I play on stream.
I feel as though, if I'm giving them the volume of time I am, I should have had at least some thoughts about them, their stories, their experiences. The last few games I've been streaming definitely hit that mark. So now the struggle is more, oh fuck-sticks I have WAY too many thoughts about Death Stranding 2. How do I pick just one thing to focus on?! (Don't quote me on this but there's a good chance I'll do something about how Dollman is an objectively evil dickhead)
It's more of that whole "balance" thing I've always been terrible at. I want more writing coming out, but that means setting aside time to actually do it. And that time massively increases if it's something like yesterday's article where I needed to source claims and statements, investigate House and Senate bills, or even research a topic new to me.
I also need to write things that don't require the extra effort or I'll never have the time for a social life or a stream again. I suppose thats where little rambles like this will come in.
I'm trying to not pay too close attention to the word count as I write this, but, well it's inevitable. It's the measure of work completed I have to go off of. It breaks down somewhat when I recall I already wrote one piece today and deleted it when I wasn't feeling the vibe any more, but it's still there taunting me.
I suppose that might be another reason I've been enjoying my poetry. I like feeling my poems are complete without worry they need to crest a threshold of mandatory word-i-ness or something. Oh, I have two or three of those I haven't posted here but did post to BlueSky, I should correct that this weekend. Oh, and I have some plans for the website to make finding things easier, though I do also still plan to move to another host and will likely need to do a complete rebuild when that happens... joy.
I should shove off now; I want to try and stream, I have groceries to grab, a modem to ship, and a date tonight. Oh, shit, and my injection.
Thank you as always to my supporters for making all of this possible, as a reminder I really only make about $80 a month between Patreon, Ko-fi, and Twitch, so please consider throwing me and other creatives you enjoy a few bucks. I can honestly say every time I get a new $5 supporter I have to fight back tears, and I know plenty of folks are in the same boat as me.
